No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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