I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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