Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
