I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
