her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
