so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
and she was petting her beer can
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
They took my balls.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
