So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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