whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Randomize
