I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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