That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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