we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
