the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize