He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I CAN MOONWALK!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
