so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize