She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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