i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
