CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
