i already hear my dad disowning me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
