So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Found your dick twin last night
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
