Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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