I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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