shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
