Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
