Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize