what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
