I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
