i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
