big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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