Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
