Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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