those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i think i have two assholes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
