I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
