..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
