Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize