Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
