i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
