I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
