I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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