I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
