I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
