butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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