I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
