All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
