glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
