she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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