She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
