I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
