come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
