They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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