..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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