i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
not ubering you a puppy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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