my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
