Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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