I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
