dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize