Already got asked if we're dating
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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