What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
