oh god the rape fog is back!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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