My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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