Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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